Breaking Taboo: Addressing Sibling Sexual Abuse with Amy Adams

Teresa: Hi, Amy. Welcome to One in Ten. 

Amy: Thanks for inviting me. 

Teresa: So, how did you come to this work, specifically looking at sibling sexual abuse? 

Amy: Well, it all started about four years ago with the National Sibling Sexual Abuse Project in the United Kingdom. The Home Office, which is a government body in the UK, commissioned a project on sibling sexual abuse—a two-year project involving the University of Birmingham, the University of the West of England, and a couple of small independent charities, including the Somerset and Avon Rape Crisis Centre, or SARSAS, as they are known. Additionally, there were a couple of smaller children’s organizations that support children and young people affected by sibling sexual abuse and other forms of harmful sexual behavior. 

I came across the project by chance. I was starting to see things around this topic and was interested, so I got in touch with the project manager, Blair Strong, about a year into the project, around 2021. At the time, I was doing my Master’s and wanted to consider future steps. Blair was very responsive and invited me to come along as a volunteer research officer. From there, it just ignited. I worked on that project for about a year and did a fair amount of work, but the primary work I did was Freedom of Information (FOI) requests. 

Teresa: I’m not sure if it’s a UK-specific term or if it’s used elsewhere. 

Amy: We have those here too, yeah. 

Amy: So, we put in requests to the police forces in the United Kingdom—there are 43 in total—and around 22 responded. They provided us with data on incidents of sibling sexual abuse between 2017 and 2020. I worked on compiling that information, and the report is available online, mainly on the SARSAS website. 

After that, I decided I wanted to understand more and applied for a Ph.D. in this area. I applied for funding from the Economic and Social Research Council, which I believe is a UK-based body that funds Ph.D. programs. To my surprise, I was accepted. I’ve been doing this work for about two years now. In the UK, the Ph.D. process involves completing a Master’s degree first, followed by a three-year doctoral program. I have finished the Master’s component, which included a scoping review, and I’m currently nine months to a year into the Ph.D. 

I’ve also done other work alongside it. I collaborated on a larger-scale scoping review with Dr. P. T. Yates, who is an expert in the field, and have also worked with Dr. Sophie King Hale and Professor Kieran McCartan. Right now, I’m working on a project with a smaller organization in Scotland to help them develop best practices for dealing with sibling sexual abuse. 

That was a long answer to your question, but I got into this topic by chance, and I’m still here four years later. 

Teresa: Well, I think it speaks to your level of interest, which is fantastic. Congratulations on finishing your Master’s and pursuing your doctorate. One of the things that struck me about your scoping review is the evolving body of research in this field, which often appears sporadic. At least in the U.S., there seems to be a perception that not much research has been done on this topic, so we were excited to learn more about your review and other work happening in the UK. 

For our listeners, many of whom are child abuse professionals but may not primarily work in sibling sexual abuse, I wonder how common this issue is. Is it rarer than we think, or more common? 

Amy: I think it’s definitely more common than people anticipate, and if we were able to properly record this form of abuse, we’d have a better understanding. That’s half the problem—this form of abuse isn’t well recorded. In the UK, for example, we don’t collect data on sibling sexual abuse specifically, nor do we define or differentiate it adequately in policy documents. It’s not picked up by the Office for National Statistics, which is the body responsible for collecting data. 

Based on research estimates, around 1.2 to 3 million children and their families in the UK are affected by sibling sexual abuse. If we take into account not just the child who has been harmed, but also the child who caused the harm and their families, that’s a lot of people impacted. We suspect sibling sexual abuse is as common as parent-child abuse. There is a lot of literature suggesting that it may even be more common, but the largest scoping review to date indicates we don’t know that for sure yet. However, we believe it is quite common and happens in many more families than people think. 

Teresa: That’s really interesting. I think it’s going to shape our longer-term perception of child sexual abuse if it turns out to be as common or nearly as common as abuse by a parent. In the general public, at least in the U.S., once we moved past the “stranger danger” idea, the focus shifted to parents as the most common perpetrators, since they’re the ones at home with kids. So it would be interesting to widen the lens to include other potential perpetrators within the household, such as siblings. 

Amy: I agree. One issue with understanding sibling sexual abuse is that we don’t see children as sexual beings, and we’re often uncomfortable with the idea of children and young people engaging in normative, consensual sexual behavior. When it comes to harmful or abusive sexual behavior, the discomfort increases, as it goes against the notion of children being innocent and childhood being free of sexual harm. Moreover, we tend to think of sibling relationships as being argumentative or contentious, but not as involving sexual abuse. It really challenges our norms and ideas about families and children, which may be why people minimize or ignore it. 

Teresa: I also think part of the issue is that people often confuse sibling sexual abuse with innocent child exploration. When they think about sibling sexual behavior, they imagine things like “playing doctor” or “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”—behaviors that may not involve coercion, a power differential, or a significant age gap. So, when you say “sibling sexual abuse,” they can’t reconcile it with their understanding of childhood exploration. It’s a complex issue to grasp. 

Amy: Yes, we’re asking people to consider something that doesn’t fit into their usual understanding of child sexual abuse. Part of it is dismantling the myths about child sexual abuse in general—that it’s always adults, always strangers, or always involves an adult in a position of power. People simply don’t think of a sibling as being capable of sexually abusing another sibling. 

Teresa: Right. When we talk about family dynamics, often there’s this idea that this only happens in “certain types” of families. But when you did your scoping review and looked at all the literature, did you find any specific vulnerabilities that make some families more prone to sibling sexual abuse? 

Amy: What I found is that there isn’t a specific family type or structure that this abuse is limited to. It can happen in families with married parents, single-parent households, blended families, and stepfamilies—it really is a mixed bag. In terms of socioeconomic status, there wasn’t a clear trend toward one type of family over another. 

However, what did emerge was a tendency towards stress in families. This stress could be due to abuse from parents, domestic violence, emotional neglect, or even parental histories, such as mental health issues or substance abuse. There was also a tendency toward parental absence, whether physical (e.g., parents being at work) or emotional (e.g., parents not being available for their children emotionally). 

It’s important to note that these stresses do not necessarily cause sibling sexual abuse but rather create a climate where this type of abuse is more likely to happen. Families facing significant stress may be less able to notice and respond to harmful behaviors early on. 

Teresa: It seems like what you’re describing aligns with what we know about youth with harmful sexual behaviors generally. Whether it’s a sibling or another child, family chaos and disruption can create a climate where harmful behaviors can start and persist because parents are focused on other challenges and may not notice or intervene effectively early on. 

Amy: Exactly. And I didn’t mention it earlier, but there was also a pattern of parental absence—this could mean that parents were physically not present, like being at work or involved in leisure activities, or emotionally absent, where they weren’t available for emotional support. This absence sometimes led to siblings seeking comfort from each other, which, in some cases, manifested as sexualized behaviors. 

We also found some examples of sexualized home environments. In one of my studies, a participant described how their father would watch pornography in shared family spaces. In another study, it was more likely that a child who caused harm had been exposed to pornography in the home. There was also a theme of suppressed discussions about sex in the home, making it a taboo topic, and in some households, gender roles were quite defined, affecting how girls and boys were valued differently. 

It’s essential to recognize that these factors contribute to the stress and chaos that can increase the likelihood of sibling sexual abuse. Still, they don’t necessarily determine that it will happen. 

Teresa: It’s interesting because exposure to sexualized environments has been a common theme in literature related to youth with harmful sexual behaviors, regardless of whether they target siblings or other children. It raises the point of how critical it is for parents to be aware of how they manage exposure to sexual content in the home. 

Amy: Yes, exactly. Myself and some colleagues even wrote a think piece about pornography and sibling sexual abuse—how the portrayal of consent and sexual behavior in pornography may influence young people’s perceptions. Interestingly, there is also a growing trend in pornography involving the depiction of sibling relationships, which is highly concerning because it normalizes incestuous behavior. 

Of course, I’m cautious to say it causes sibling sexual abuse, but it certainly contributes to normalizing that type of behavior, especially if children and young people are accessing this material without understanding the context. 

Teresa: And for many parents, it’s challenging to acknowledge that children have access to pornography, period. So, they don’t talk about it, which means they can’t provide context or talk about what’s real, what’s not, and what consent should look like. We miss the opportunity to provide children with essential guidance. 

Amy: Exactly. It’s important to recognize that we can’t stop children from accessing this material entirely, but we can talk to them about it. We need to get in there first, give them a safe space to discuss it, and not shut down these conversations. We’ll never be able to ban pornography, but we can support children to understand what they’re seeing when they encounter it. 

Teresa: This reminds me of a conversation I had with Elizabeth Letourneau, a researcher at Johns Hopkins. She talked about how, often, no one says to children that they shouldn’t touch other kids without their consent or that they shouldn’t touch younger children. We tend to assume children know these boundaries, but we need to be explicit. 

Amy: Yes, we do. Children need to understand where the boundaries are, and adults need to be frank about what is permissible and what isn’t. Often, in the cases I’ve studied, children weren’t explicitly told these things. As adults, we’re sometimes terrible at dealing with these situations when they occur. 

Teresa: I agree. And many of the children who cause harm often have their own vulnerabilities. It’s essential to understand the dual status of these children—they are both harmed and have caused harm. This is where a whole-family approach, as you mentioned earlier, can be helpful. 

Amy: Absolutely. Whole-family approaches are increasingly important because sibling sexual abuse affects the entire family, not just the child who has been harmed and the child who has caused harm. It’s also vital to understand each family member’s individual needs before beginning family work. For example, if parents have their own trauma histories or mental health issues, addressing those issues is crucial before meaningful family work can happen. 

In some cases, though, where there is ongoing abuse, such as parental abuse, it may not be safe or appropriate to take a whole-family approach. It’s essential to carefully assess each situation. 

Teresa: It sounds like, especially in the UK, there is a move towards offering support to the whole family and not just focusing on the individual child. It’s challenging to have all services work in tandem, but it’s promising to hear about the shift toward this type of intervention. 

Amy: Yes, and while the UK is moving in this direction, it’s still inconsistent. There is a bit of a postcode lottery where some areas have good services for sibling sexual abuse and others do not. We need more services and broader access, not just in certain pockets. It’s also important to take a child-centered approach, understanding that children who cause harm often have their own experiences of adversity. Addressing the whole child, rather than focusing only on their behavior, is crucial. 

Teresa: This conversation has covered many important topics today. Is there anything else that you wanted to make sure we discussed or anything that I should have asked but didn’t? 

Amy: I think public awareness is vital. There is a boom in research and practice in this area, but it doesn’t always reach the public. Families aren’t reading journal articles, and most academic content isn’t written for a lay audience. That’s why public discourse through things like soap opera storylines, media coverage, and everyday conversations is so important. 

For example, Nancy Morris runs a podcast called Siblings Too, and she is very focused on increasing public awareness. We need to continue pushing this into everyday narratives, as well as governmental policy, to ensure it becomes a more recognized issue. 

Teresa: Well, you’ve certainly contributed to the literature, and your continued work is encouraging. Thank you so much for coming on today and discussing this important subject. 

Amy: No problem. Thank you for having me. It’s been great. 

Teresa: Thanks for listening to One in Ten. If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend or colleague. For more information about this episode or any of our others, please visit our podcast website at oneintenpodcast.org.